Fear of change — You are not alone
Why we fear change and how to contain it?
Why some of us get anxious while anticipating a change? What’s the rationale behind this fear of change?
A flashback
In the recollection, think of a time when you were on the threshold of anticipating a significant change. How did you feel about it? Were you able to confidently stride ahead or you felt perplexed? Maybe you are still standing at crossroads.
Why do we fear?
We like that which has been around for a while. That’s the most prominent and obvious reason why we don’t like change. However, reasons run deeper:
The uncertainty
Change implies uncertainty. What would I gain? What would I lose? Would the things remain the same?. Research has demonstrated that people, in general, preferred to stay unhappy rather than uncertain. Foreseeing a risk, the body’s defense mechanism creates an urge to take a step back rather than to step forward.
Loss of routine
Change implies a loss of routine. It can range from working with different people to relocating in a different geography. Even a temporary loss of routine like a change of desk can trigger anxiety.
Loss of control
Loss of routine may lead to loss of control. Having a sense of control seems to be a deep-rooted need within all of us. Loss of control threatens your ability to fulfill your personal rules. Therefore, when change strikes us and creates something in our world, in our environment so different from what it was, it is no surprise we feel a loss of the sense of control over what is developing.
Competency
Self-doubt. Questions — Am I competent enough? Do I have the right knowledge? Do I have the relevant skillset?
Emotions
Change implies a sudden inflow of emotional affinity to the existing habitat, even though you observed it negatively for quite a while and cultivated a prime motive behind the change.
Another ambiguity that emerges is how the change in your life would impact your loved ones.
Yes, you can overpower the fear!
Accept
Change is the inevitable part of life, perhaps the only constant, and the earlier you recognize it, the stronger you’ll be able to organize and own it. Acceptance sounds like a cliche but in realism, we often establish a fanciful feel-good-factor as a defense operation rather than actually accepting it from the nucleus. Time to break that daydream.
Ask
A lot of times we hold ourselves to connect to others in the need of the hour. Ask for help, build a support system, look for the experts in the field of that change, drop a message and initiate that conversation on Linkedin, call that old friend. Once you ask — there’ll be a new perspective leading to new solutions.
Evaluate
Before I describe evaluation, ask yourself a question- Are you looking at your life from your own perspective or the perspective of others- friends, family, colleague, a potential love partner?. If it’s the latter stop right there and learn to accept and value yourself.
What are you genuinely nervous about? Are you truly afraid of pursuing a new skillset? relocation? quitting the familiar surrounding? quitting the job? Or are you scared of something else? Are you afraid that this change though positive came sooner than you expected? Ask yourself such questions and note down the answers. For instance, if you got that change your anticipated earlier than expectations look at it as an achievement rather than creating self-doubt.
Competency
Knowledge, Information, and Skillset. The three powerful tools to overwhelm that fear of change. Get that competency, do a crash course, burn some hours.
Strategy
It’s time to create a blueprint from the result of the evaluation. What are those obstructions that can be easily dealt with? Do you have the pros and cons list? which one weighs more? Create tasks to embrace the change, break those tasks into subtasks. Create a timeline.
Action
Now we have the blueprint and the foundation it’s time to put our boots on the ground. Get in action — action builds confidence. Start with the foundational skill and build it stronger — one step at a time, and you’ll find the dots connected. Yes, you might fail a task do it again, fail fast. Create alternate solutions and task by task you’ll find yourself stronger.
There is always a choice
Changes will happen regardless. The choices you make will define you— you take a step back or march ahead. It’s the sincere acceptance and descriptive evaluation that would lead to a better set of choices.
It is important to realize that no one has to, nor should, pass through these stages of transition and uncertainty alone.
Specifically, in times of social distancing, it is more important than ever to maintain healthy ties and relationships, to seek help and direction when you need it, and to provide it to others at the time of need by lending a helping hand.
